In His care

Written to my daughter while she was on her mission:

I finally finished reading your email from last week. It was really amazing. These experiences you’re having with people are the real deal. This is what life is about, forming these bonds, even if they are sometimes only momentary. Hopefully you’ll be able to keep in touch with some of these people. But, the positive impact will remain and echo on into the future in the lives of these people. It’s the butterfly effect. Who knows how these positive echoes will impact more and more people’s lives.

I really liked your spiritual thought. Coming down off of highs from zone conference and having to face the realities of the day to day grind (interspersed with moments of light) of missionary work was always so hard for me. It was often very discouraging, because of how quickly I sometimes felt like I fell from the highs of zone conferences. But, it’s meant to be hard. We definitely need to come down from the mountain of those private, spiritual highs and put it all to the test. It’s in the daily grind of life that we strive to incorporate the things we’ve learned into our daily interactions with people.

Over the weekend, I went through my scriptures and put sticky-note “bookmarks” throughout so that I can start in different places, depending on what I feel like reading, and keep track of my progress in those different parts…. I read some from the beginning of the Book of Mormon this weekend. I’m pretty sure I’ve read the beginning of the Book of Mormon more than any other part of the scriptures. But, there is something distinctly comforting to me about the beginning of the Book of Mormon. Over the last year or two, I feel like I’ve started to put my finger on why.

I remember back when the Harry Potter movies first came out. I think this also roughly coincided with when the third book was out, around the time you were born. That was about the time I first started reading the Harry Potter books, over a Christmas break. And I was completely hooked. I believe I read one book right after the other. And then I had to go back to the grind of school. I remember pretty distinctly a depressed withdrawal I went through around this time. Despite all the conflict and danger Harry and his friends were often in, everything felt safe and secure, like everything would always work out. Like there was always something protecting them. And I longed for something like this in my life.

As much as I loved school and was engrossed in it, I was struck by this depressed feeling when I had to go back to school. I had been carried away into a fantasy land, where there were constant threats of danger, and yet it all felt so safe and secure to me. I remember not feeling this when I had to go back to real life. The escape into that fantasy land kind of did me in for a little while. Real life – having to go through school and make my way in the world – felt fundamentally unfriendly, unsafe, and intimidating to me. I’ve periodically felt this more recently with the various work experiences I’ve had over the last 2 or 3 years.

This same mingling of real-life dangers with a sense of security – like there is always something there that will bring you safely through – is what I feel when I read through the early parts of the Book of Mormon. Lehi was shown things concerning the future of Jerusalem that made him tremble. Yet, he rejoiced concerning the things the Lord showed him. Obviously, he didn’t rejoice over the destruction of Jerusalem. So, what did he rejoice over?

He says: “Great and marvelous are thy works, O Lord God Almighty. Thy throne is high in the heavens and thy power, and goodness, and mercy are over all the inhabitants of the earth; and, because thou art merciful, thou wilt not suffer those who come unto thee that they shall perish!“

Later, when he goes to warn the people of Jerusalem, what is the message he gives them? It says: “…he testified that the things which he saw and heard, and also the things which he read in the book, manifested plainly of the coming of a Messiah, and also the redemption of the world.“

And when the people wanted to kill him, Nephi says: “…I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.“

Their lives were fraught with dangers, discomfort, and challenges. But, they were in the care of the Lord. In the very first verse of the Book of Mormon, Nephi says: “…having seen may afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.“

Every time I read from the beginning of the Book of Mormon, I feel the same longing desire for that security that can only come from being in the tender care of the Lord. It doesn’t mean our lives will be free of challenges and threats. Life will be just as challenging or more. It just means that the tender mercies of the Lord will be over us, making us mighty unto the power of deliverance over and over again from the things that cause us to want to shrink and flee.

More than anything, I just want our family to be in the security of the Lord’s care. Lehi and his family left the comforts of their life in Jerusalem. They would have had friends and extended family there. They would have had a religious community. But, God took them in his care and provided them the things they needed in the wilderness.